Frivolous At Heart

It’s very odd but my loyalty lies within close knit friends. My buddy has interest in the same person I did. When he told me he did, I was surprised but kept to myself. I said to myself that I shall not reveal my secret to him for it will ruin his mood and take away his thunder. Doing so would mean that I will lie to him for which I must as my mind tells me his happiness means more to me. For the simple fact that she does not have interest in me, why be so selfish is and was my train of thought.

I would yield to anyone and not just to my friend. In this delicate situation, my friend is like [anyone else] and I treated him like such so that I can keep to myself. If anyone has rights for her hand, I’m not the one that will bicker but instead, I shall celebrate and be jolly for the both of them… After all, I am her friend too. Her happiness means well beyond my own.

Besides the point, I do not have interests in her anymore as I feel that we are two different people. She once told me that her eldest sister disapproves of me and that I’m not fitting of boyfriend material. The eldest sister is a great friend of mine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and thus, I bear no discontent. She’s quite lovely might I add. None-the-less, I am once free.

So, it’s May 14… I was complaining about my electric brusher and how the battery life on it sucks. It was getting long on the tooth for an over used product. I got one for my birthday! Yah! I’m quite happy because the kit came with two of them. Now I can switch back and forth without worries of running low on battery. Plus i’m a really clean freak, so I tend to clean my stuff on a routine. Having two makes it a lot easier!

Its also mothers’ day. Isn’t a coincident? My birthday lands on mothers’ day like once every 5 years. I did a lot for the mum today. Had a great cookout and now I can hardly walk let alone, breathe. It’s always tiresome this time of month. Too much eating and little exercising, yuck! I’m glad it’s all over.

Very interesting today… It was not expected. I did not expect it to come from someone I thought was a [lady]. Look up that definition please. It all started over a pair of sunglasses and the brewing-grudges over the past weeks for which I have expressed my sentimental apology. I told her that I shall not bother her any longer for which I have not. I also told her that I shall not bring up anything btwn her and I nor shall I speak of things that have passed or things that are present.

I called her vain for which she sees no reason why I did. Its okay. I removed her off my friends list on a friends network. All lead to her more hating me. Its okay. I don’t expect her to understand. She called me an asshole not in private but in front of a crowd. Thank You. Didn’t expect it. Those are the types of names I would not refer anyone by and only reserved for the ones whom are truely. Its no wonder I hate arguments.

I let myself drift for I know that things will never fall into place nor shall light pass through something I know can’t harbor light. I’m glad I have made such decisions for I was surprised with a rebuttal so uncanny it gave me a sense of sadness for the moments that passed. I was not sad for myself but sad for her. My outlook of her has changed very little but what I know of her changes tremendously.

The whole day when we were out-and-about, I made gestures as if nothing had happened and that everything was alright which it was. I’m not the type of person that will be angry- I’m never angry. To be angry at her is useless- she’s too cute to be angry at. It will be another stone I will leave turned over. Nothing has happened. I still will be her friend if she wants it. I know she acted out of anger but meant what she said.

I lost a lot of my photos I took. They were digital copies of film versions back in the day. I was talking to my friend via AIM and he sent me a photo of my ex and I. Boy, was I ever feeling so nostalgic than ever. I miss those days. She was so sweet and her smile was icing on the cake.

I don’t regret any day that I was with her. Though it did not end as I intended but that’s life: things don’t always fall into place like a puzzle. I would often look back and relive the sweet moments that I cherished most. The soft kisses and caresses and how they made me feel. It was soothing- beyond a latte decked with whip cream.

I’ve been single now for O, I’d be generous and say four something odd years. I don’t have the desire for affection from anyone. I wasn’t hurt nor was I devastated from a previous relationship to say and commit to such. I’m content with mostly everything and I’m not demanding- just picky and very particular. Here’s to another four years!

As rivers are naturally occurring, it is within essence that water too, is natural. Can you hold faults of the river for flowing? Can you hold faults of the river for churning? Can you fault something that’s continually changing? No, you cannot for the river cast and mimics hues of various facades above the surface. I will know the river only by its shape and no more. Its name only as the river. Its wakes only by minute ripples and its soul by the morning mists.

Can you picture such candid imagery? No, you simply cannot. No, you simply cannot do without. It is all not but lust yet lust without thought. It is something we simply cannot deter nor can we deny. Something we cannot live with nor can we live without. It is a pocket of fresh air to most yet at times, it strangles us like so drowning in our own breathe- breathes we take without the pleasure of knowing that its tainted. Tainted with another one’s thought. Thoughts of another brewing within us through every breathe. The only escape is another breathe but still, its tainted. Tainted with another thought. Tainted with you. Tainted with me.

How are you lost when you have not begun? How are you found when you have not been displaced? What parts of you aloft and how do you fair when skies are gray? Do you not feel the urge to let go and be free? Free from all that were and all that was. Free from yourself; your own ambitions. What lacks here can be made up there. What lacks there can be found through I. You find perfection when looking through someone else’s faults. It is not to say that all are diseased and unfit; it is saying that light shall pass where there are shadows. Shadows that plague and covert when there are feelings of hopelessness, apathy, and all that deranges and confuse our mental status. Look above the stars for you are lost.

I’ve been a little lazy lately. I’m on a new journey for lack of description. Something that has to do with vitamins and the neurological senses in combination with smarts and wits. I’m doing a little research on my own to experiment a little on the otherside. I was reading up on the matter of mind power and the lacks of it and I would like to see if I can change anything within myself through such research.

I’m going to GNC (that’s the only brand I can think of) and few other retailers to research on supplements that can be used to increase/decrease memory. I have a very bad memory. I tend to zone out a lot when i’m with a group or it is so that I’m told. I don’t do it intentially but it is done. I don’t know how to bring myself to the admittance that I have a memory problem=) Well off I go!

I’ve been waiting for weeks to see this. I was thrilled last night when it aired on the SciFI channel. I had quite a bit of work to do so I taped it. Good riddens, I watched it three times just to catch anything that I hadn’t already seen the first two times (lol). I’m so wanting the DVD version but I’m going to purchase the book first.

The movie went so well but what pissed me off (don’t all movies do?) so so much was the fact that Princess Kriemhild had the audacity to use black magic to captivate and enthrall Kind Siegfried. Doing so would thwart any plans of him leaving for Iceland to unite with the LOVE the Gods had chosen for him; Queen Brunhild. To extend this treachery, it also would solidify the placement of the dragons booty at Burgund so that Hagan can spring upon good opportunity to steal the wealth for himself. Bastard, little Hagan bastard I say!!!

I admit, if there weren’t any twists within a story line, how would it captivate us to watch more? Still, it angers me to have such treachery unfold in front of I. I believe that the curse that came with the treasure would not affect Kind Siegfried because the Gods wills it by using King Siegfried as a pawn to claim what was rightfully theirs. It all gets screwed up because of the potion Princess Kriemhild gives to Kind Siegfried… Erggg!!!

I can’t wait for tonight’s show. OMG I’m dying here… Queen Brunhild (Kristanna Loken) is so beautiful.

03/29/06 update:
I’m finally done watching the short mini series. The ending was quite sad. God, I couldn’t stand the betrayal and deceit- it was killing me just watching it. The story line unfolded nicely with the added “umph” towards the end when Queen Brunhild saved the day=) You know… I searched for photos via google (don’t you just love google?) and all I found were 7 photos! How pathetic! I had to go to a flash site that wouldn’t allow d/l of the photos so I ended up printing my screen to retrieve the photos. I think they were the last 5 photos!

[START of wallpaper]

[END of wallpaper]

So,.. today I decided to bake a few cakes meaning two cakes but I ended up baking more than five cakes. I really enjoyed it. I enjoy cooking in general anywho. I chose this type of cheesecake because the taste is much less richer and you dont grow tired of it after the first slice=) I believe the regular cheesecake (white ones) tastes just too too rich and I tire after the first slice not to mention the fat issues I’m currently battling. Skinny people who love cooking tend to be fat like myself. It’s a process all chefs go through=)

I made my nephew do some work since he wanted to have his share plus he’s learning to cook too=) He’s so adorable I must say. One of the most handsome and respectful little devils around town- I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Anywho, the last few cakes I baked I added a little more than what was called for in the recipe. The extra ingredient was pumpkin pure. The recipe calls for 2 cups but I believe I added 2.75 cups because I’m not going to fridge the extra pure- what the heck am I going to do with the extra pure??!

Okay… so I was working on the yard today and Jeff, my neighbor, stops on by and we talk for a wee bit. Now let me say, he is a hilarious guy mind you! Very straight forward might I add. Anywho, we were talking about jobs and women in general and he was like: “have you noticed there are nine women in our neighborhood that had their boobies done?”. Of course, I pay no attention to that stuff and besides, I’m not with the neighborhood crowd anyhow. My family usually keeps to ourselves and have one neighbor we actually talk to anywho.

So the ironic thing is, all these MILFs do not work. They sit around and play all day. Nothing wrong with that I guess. Jeff says: “They want half of your money and they don’t work” (LOL). I was laughing my butt off thinking to myself how true what he speaks of. It’s true, my neighborhood is full of rich folks. He tells me to marry a woman that makes more money than me (LOL)- that’s always a good thing. I wouldn’t mind that=) Women wanting half of anything that doesn’t work… “now thats a problem” Jeff says.

So my truck starts shaking really bad. I had an idea of what was wrong with it so I called my brother to confirm and chit-chat a bit. Well, it turned out to be what I originally thought it would be: misfire in one of the 6 cylinders. I took them all out and checked for gap distance and looked for any signs of wear. The results came back pretty clean but the spark plug wires were in “okay” condition.

So I took a drive to the nearby auto distributors and purchased a set of new wires. During my drive there, I was very hesitant and was saying to myself, “man, here goes another 150USD into the truck for some darn wires” but to my surprise, it was only 30USD. My jaw litterally dropped onto the counter when I heard the tech said it was only 30USD. Unbelievable I say! Thank god I own a Ford. I do have a Mazda too but thats a rather,.. lengthly matter.

Anyhow, the reason I needed new wires was that the metal jacket inside the spark plug insulator broke off causing cylinder #6 to misfire! The last photo shows details of this evidently! Ford Ranger Spark Plug Wires