Frivolous At Heart

I reworked my “garden” yard and I put in two dozens of Lily of The Nile flowering plants. I have to say that I’m very impressed with my work! I love my yard a little more now- it’s much more bearable. I had added 40 bags of mulch the other day and the mulch is 2-3inches thick. Now I have a problem with my sprinkler heads being too short! That must be remedied.

The company that came to do my borders, broke my sprinkler head without telling me. I had to find that out myself today and that included 4-months of high water bills. Unappreciated I tell ya! They should have just told me when they broke it- its not like I’m going to go berserk. Good heavens. Now I have to make a repair that I could have done many, many months ago. All that money down the drain because of a broken sprinkler head. I would frustrate others but I’m not. I’m content.

Seven hours of back-breaking labor and lots of money spent, I have completely planted all my plants. My whole idea and thought of approach to the design is to get the Lily of The Nile plants to meander around my borders and caress the sides to make for subtle views and create a centerfold that will help lay out all my various plants that I have planned in my mind. It will subdue the butterflies and confuse the bees to much of my surprise!

It stunned me to know that the ladies’ room is cleaner than the guys’ room. Not to mention the seat was spotless and there was soap left to wash your hands! O, the air was a lot more crisp. The guys’ room is more like a [shit-hole] – nice and dirty with piss all around. It was a rude awakening to step into the ladies’ room and notice the tremendous difference in the two.

I took my niece out for lunch and I drank three ice tea (non sweet please) with nachos and wings. Needless to say, I had to tinkle like a horse! I dropped her off and drove home for the afternoon. I was out of gas and I was very [antsy]. It was nerve racking when I hit traffic. Unbearable! The ironic thing is there was a pool of water shimmering in the median that enticed and teased me. I arched my back while driving as to somehow relieve the pressure off my bladder or was it to suppress my need to tinkle? It had to be one of those moments out of the two!

Thank god I live near a city with lots and lots of gas stations- they’re like dandelions in an oyster bed of twirling and twisting asphalt. I stopped on by and parked at a pump station but first I had to go [pee] really, really bad! I ran in and some guy was using the restroom. Just as I turned away, the ladies’ room was available. I thought childishly, “If not another lady, than its going to be me-” so I snuck in while she stole around the corner. I was in and out fairly quickly!

I had soap to wash up and the floor was spotless- no pee and pooh scattered on the floor. I’m glad I ran in to the ladies’ room for it I had waited one more minute; I would have soiled my pant! Thank god for clean bathrooms! Got out, purchased 23USD worth of gasoline and left!

I find that the smell of mulch is intensified when it rains. It smells so nice. Wild aroma in an urban setting makes me feel so relaxed. I had spread twenty more bags of mulch in the yard- a total of more than forty-five bags. My flowers are growing and my bushes of various kinds, are fairing quite well. I also added four more lights to the yard and will be adding another four very soon. It makes walking to the front door a little more manageable because of the soft lighting it gives off. Also makes the yard a lot more delicious.

My neighbors’ has been complimenting my yard a lot this season. That makes me very happy! I did all the work so why wouldn’t it?! I will be getting around 40 more plants this weekend to plant around the perimeter of my backyard. I have a lot of plans laid out in my mind I can’t wait to break ground. I’m very excited! I’ve wanted to get these ornamental flowering plants but I find them so expensive. I’m looking to buy 2 huge 3-4′ tall plants. They will cost me at least two to three-hundred USD. I’ll be getting these for my self enjoyment.

I think I’ll take a few updated photos once I’m done. The borders I had done to my front yard looks fantastic and adds a great backdrop for the various plants I have. I need more green in the yard!!! I wish I had more space to play with. I’ll have to make due with what’s provided…

I was meeting up my confidant for a job interview we were both going for together. I had brought my lucky pen to do all the paper work too to boot! Let me describe how I got fooled into a surprise birthday dinner. I met up with my friend to go to the job site- I didn’t want to go but he insisted I go root for him? So he tells me where the office is and that I should meet him up at Four Bucks (Star bucks- where everything good is 4USD) so that we can drive their together- I get lost quite easily so I thought I was being loved…

I met up with him and along with him are three other people- for a job interview? What? Anywho… I went a long. He faked it as if he was lost and etc. He even took directions from me to farther induce my belief in his scheme. I was so into it an all, I was getting frustrated yelling at him for making so many U-TURNS. My friend called me on the way there and we spoke till I arrived at the destined location (Bahamas Breeze). I got off the phone and they all yelled “happy birthday” and at that moment, I was still a little dazed as to what’s going on. I walked out of the car with my lucky pen ready to do some paper work and than a light bulb came on, … “O, how foolish am I?!

I am a lover of food. That explains why I am so fat! We had a splendid time. CHIM, smashed cake on my face when I gave him a piece! His girlfriend- my partner in crime, got him back big time=)

It’s very odd but my loyalty lies within close knit friends. My buddy has interest in the same person I did. When he told me he did, I was surprised but kept to myself. I said to myself that I shall not reveal my secret to him for it will ruin his mood and take away his thunder. Doing so would mean that I will lie to him for which I must as my mind tells me his happiness means more to me. For the simple fact that she does not have interest in me, why be so selfish is and was my train of thought.

I would yield to anyone and not just to my friend. In this delicate situation, my friend is like [anyone else] and I treated him like such so that I can keep to myself. If anyone has rights for her hand, I’m not the one that will bicker but instead, I shall celebrate and be jolly for the both of them… After all, I am her friend too. Her happiness means well beyond my own.

Besides the point, I do not have interests in her anymore as I feel that we are two different people. She once told me that her eldest sister disapproves of me and that I’m not fitting of boyfriend material. The eldest sister is a great friend of mine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and thus, I bear no discontent. She’s quite lovely might I add. None-the-less, I am once free.

So, it’s May 14… I was complaining about my electric brusher and how the battery life on it sucks. It was getting long on the tooth for an over used product. I got one for my birthday! Yah! I’m quite happy because the kit came with two of them. Now I can switch back and forth without worries of running low on battery. Plus i’m a really clean freak, so I tend to clean my stuff on a routine. Having two makes it a lot easier!

Its also mothers’ day. Isn’t a coincident? My birthday lands on mothers’ day like once every 5 years. I did a lot for the mum today. Had a great cookout and now I can hardly walk let alone, breathe. It’s always tiresome this time of month. Too much eating and little exercising, yuck! I’m glad it’s all over.

Very interesting today… It was not expected. I did not expect it to come from someone I thought was a [lady]. Look up that definition please. It all started over a pair of sunglasses and the brewing-grudges over the past weeks for which I have expressed my sentimental apology. I told her that I shall not bother her any longer for which I have not. I also told her that I shall not bring up anything btwn her and I nor shall I speak of things that have passed or things that are present.

I called her vain for which she sees no reason why I did. Its okay. I removed her off my friends list on a friends network. All lead to her more hating me. Its okay. I don’t expect her to understand. She called me an asshole not in private but in front of a crowd. Thank You. Didn’t expect it. Those are the types of names I would not refer anyone by and only reserved for the ones whom are truely. Its no wonder I hate arguments.

I let myself drift for I know that things will never fall into place nor shall light pass through something I know can’t harbor light. I’m glad I have made such decisions for I was surprised with a rebuttal so uncanny it gave me a sense of sadness for the moments that passed. I was not sad for myself but sad for her. My outlook of her has changed very little but what I know of her changes tremendously.

The whole day when we were out-and-about, I made gestures as if nothing had happened and that everything was alright which it was. I’m not the type of person that will be angry- I’m never angry. To be angry at her is useless- she’s too cute to be angry at. It will be another stone I will leave turned over. Nothing has happened. I still will be her friend if she wants it. I know she acted out of anger but meant what she said.

I lost a lot of my photos I took. They were digital copies of film versions back in the day. I was talking to my friend via AIM and he sent me a photo of my ex and I. Boy, was I ever feeling so nostalgic than ever. I miss those days. She was so sweet and her smile was icing on the cake.

I don’t regret any day that I was with her. Though it did not end as I intended but that’s life: things don’t always fall into place like a puzzle. I would often look back and relive the sweet moments that I cherished most. The soft kisses and caresses and how they made me feel. It was soothing- beyond a latte decked with whip cream.

I’ve been single now for O, I’d be generous and say four something odd years. I don’t have the desire for affection from anyone. I wasn’t hurt nor was I devastated from a previous relationship to say and commit to such. I’m content with mostly everything and I’m not demanding- just picky and very particular. Here’s to another four years!

As rivers are naturally occurring, it is within essence that water too, is natural. Can you hold faults of the river for flowing? Can you hold faults of the river for churning? Can you fault something that’s continually changing? No, you cannot for the river cast and mimics hues of various facades above the surface. I will know the river only by its shape and no more. Its name only as the river. Its wakes only by minute ripples and its soul by the morning mists.

Can you picture such candid imagery? No, you simply cannot. No, you simply cannot do without. It is all not but lust yet lust without thought. It is something we simply cannot deter nor can we deny. Something we cannot live with nor can we live without. It is a pocket of fresh air to most yet at times, it strangles us like so drowning in our own breathe- breathes we take without the pleasure of knowing that its tainted. Tainted with another one’s thought. Thoughts of another brewing within us through every breathe. The only escape is another breathe but still, its tainted. Tainted with another thought. Tainted with you. Tainted with me.

How are you lost when you have not begun? How are you found when you have not been displaced? What parts of you aloft and how do you fair when skies are gray? Do you not feel the urge to let go and be free? Free from all that were and all that was. Free from yourself; your own ambitions. What lacks here can be made up there. What lacks there can be found through I. You find perfection when looking through someone else’s faults. It is not to say that all are diseased and unfit; it is saying that light shall pass where there are shadows. Shadows that plague and covert when there are feelings of hopelessness, apathy, and all that deranges and confuse our mental status. Look above the stars for you are lost.

I’ve been a little lazy lately. I’m on a new journey for lack of description. Something that has to do with vitamins and the neurological senses in combination with smarts and wits. I’m doing a little research on my own to experiment a little on the otherside. I was reading up on the matter of mind power and the lacks of it and I would like to see if I can change anything within myself through such research.

I’m going to GNC (that’s the only brand I can think of) and few other retailers to research on supplements that can be used to increase/decrease memory. I have a very bad memory. I tend to zone out a lot when i’m with a group or it is so that I’m told. I don’t do it intentially but it is done. I don’t know how to bring myself to the admittance that I have a memory problem=) Well off I go!