January 2006


Nomad:

I have not had interest in anyone for quite sometime and so my feelings are now,… in an environment of unstable heretical thoughts. My emotions are bleak to non-existing. Though I do find myself confined and always anticipating for peril. I am a person whom you would say very unconventional. I am for the most part, very unconventional and very liberal. Though many see it as being odd and perhaps thinking that I’m a FREAK. I
must oblige for to be normal is to be uninteresting.

Perhaps I have had interest in a particular person but did not come to the realization of ever seeing her again. I may sound harsh and often reflect this state upon my own rational thoughts but I do admit, I’m pleased to have seen her once gain. From within, my longing for this person, goes back many years, has captivated me for the better half of me. I still am the most calm and resolute person as I’ve always been. Still, she captivates me in an ironic approach… she shows me there are still people out there with spunk. I find that very appealing. Don’t you think so? I knew that you would.

I find life to be very interesting simply for the fact that life in itself, is a mirror for the past and the present. I’ve foreseen all that can be and all that was. I’ve lost a step or two and can no longer see in a direction I have come to be accustomed to… carefree. I do not have it in myself to genuinely care for many and the masses but only for a few. I am the water that quenches your thirst and I am the many bodies that interlay the sources of an enigma: I am complex.

With many facades one can display, there is ultimately a single person within a person; an image erected from within another that feigns and lacks wholeness. I try not to dupe myself into something I do not want to become. Something I loathe and evidently,… I have become. You see it with your eyes but taste the drift by the prickly hair behind the nape. Sometimes GOD burdens us with an extra sense. It’s solemn the way how one vision can intervene another. How is that your hindsight differs from your first impression?

I am like the many raindrops betrayed by the heavens to fall without wings. I am pure within but seem so fictitious as the stagnant pond waters I inhabit. I am surrounded by the inanimate, I am engulfed by it’s flames. I am the pyre that is blind in both eyes for I choose no sides. As the heaven’s roar cannot quench my thirst, I cannot be dispatched nor can I be remedied of my desires for her. I am inconclusive

I have a six inch diameter cylinder candle that contains three wicks.It’s burgundy I suppose from the images
given below. Well I had lit the candle for many days on ends and burn it did! I find myself guessing “why does
one wick stop burning?”- the other two wicks are fine and burns with fiery. Ah?, it is drowning in it’s own pool of waxy fuel.

As you can see the photos below, it’s obvious that the interior or the “gut” as I call it, was being slowly excavated by the searing heat provided by the three lit wicks. It’s actually caving in itself and doing more harm than good (lighting my room for that O fuzzy feeling).

My solution: Cut it! I didn’t know it took such muscles and breath. I found muscles aching where I had originally thought didn’t exist? Ironic! Yup, I consider that deed quite handy! Check it out!